Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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