I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
