I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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