i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
