Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
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