Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
