I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
