fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
