Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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