Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
