I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
