I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize