White coat. Heels.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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