Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We left the knife in your bed.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
