THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
