Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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