Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
