I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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