You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
