This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
