You can't special order awesome
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
