Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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