this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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