I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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