I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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