i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
