Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
