You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize