Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Shitshow foam night was such a success
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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