Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
