If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
