So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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