Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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