4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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