i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Randomize
