Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
