sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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