dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
