I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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