fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
