My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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