Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
