Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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