Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
never play flip cup with pint glasses
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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