I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
