Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize