quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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