At least make sure they are 18
Why
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
