No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
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