The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
