Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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