i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
