What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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