There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
