We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Two words: blizzard sex
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
