so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
