i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
