He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
