Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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