I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
