Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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