my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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