great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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