I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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