dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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