All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize